Monday, February 21, 2011

Thank You All For Your Kind Words

I know I normally respond to each and every comment, but it's just not in me tonight.  I am so touched by your wonderful words of encouragement and support.

Unfortunately, my marriage is over.  I have been through every imaginable emotion over the past two days.  I haven't slept or eaten...and I know I need to do both desperately.  I have cried...a lot.  I also went to see our therapist, and felt a whole lot better after doing that.

I am not sure of the why right now.  I don't know why all of a sudden he doesn't love me, or want to be with me, but I can't change that.  I can't make him love me. 

The funny thing is, I have moments where I can see my future, and I am excited by the possibilities.  Sure, I want more than anything for my family to be whole, but with that not an option, I want to be friends, and so does he.  In the 16 years we have been together, we have never been mean to each other.  I know, you probably find that hard to believe, but it's the truth.  Sure, we would fight, but it would never result in name calling and hurt feelings.  I refuse to let that happen now.

I have made a lot of decisions, too, which I will share with you all when I'm ready.

For right now, I have to be strong for my kids.  They don't understand all of this, especially my poor sweet Brandi.  She is a daddy's girl, and it's hard for her to not see him.  It breaks my heart that for the second night in a row, she has cried herself to sleep.
I have cried and cried and cried, and then cried some more.  My world has been turned upside down, and it is going to be hard getting it right side up again.

But I'll do it.  I have faith in that.  What other choice do I have?

19 comments:

Vixen said...

You are strong and amazing. Your kids are blessed to have you. Take care of yourself.

Sandi said...

dear, my heart breaks for you. I have been reading your blog for awhile now and I was shocked to read what happened. One never does know though do they? I am so so sorry. I know words don't help, but there are people out here who are feeling your pain. I have been married for 15 years myself and not without our problems. I know how absolutely heart broken you must feel. This blog is a good place to vent and not let it all get bottled up inside. I have a feeling all of your readers will be here to support you every step of the way.

bcmomtoo said...

I've been thinking of you all day, Jenn. My heart is breaking for you too. {{{HUGS}}}

feeling helpless, that there's nothing we can do but let you know we love you!

Lainy said...

I know no amount of words can ever give you comfort for now, Jenn but please know that in your down moments, God will carry you through and will lift you up. Entrust everything to HIM. HE will provide you with strength and wisdom and for you to be able to continue to hurdle everything.

Cry it out loud. We are just here for you.

Lots of love and hugs,
LAINY

Mom Knows Everything said...

You are an amazing woman Jenn and you will get through this and be strong for your children. Big hugs!

A.Marie said...

I haven't been over here in awhile, and I am stunned....but, this I know....you are a very strong woman, and you will get through this. Every dark cloud has a silver lining, and, in time, your silver lining will show up!

Here is a big hug from me to you (((((HUG)))))

Take Care, and I'll be back again soon!

Lidian said...

Thinking of you lots - big hugs from me to you -

xxx Lidian

Anonymous said...

Jenn, you ARE a stong woman, you'll do fine, there are so many opportunities out there for you. Explore , explore! Since I knew I didn't have any other words of wisdom to say I thought I would go this route!

Misty DawnS said...

Jenn, I am so sorry to hear this. You are a strong amazing woman, and I know you will get through this. My heart, thoughts, and prayers go to you and the kids.

StaceyC4 said...

Thinking of you, my friend!! I hope that the transition goes well and just love on the kids as much as possible. This is never an easy situation...praying for you!

Melissa said...

I am so sorry. I come from a broken home and it is not easy for anyone. You are strong, and you can do it. Answers will come eventually.

Donna said...

Loving you!!!!!
(((((((HUG))))))))

Ruth said...

Hang in there! Like the old saying goes, when life gives you lemons make lemonade.

Or lemon merengue, lemon cookies, lemon sherbet... ;-)

As others have said, you're a strong lady and you will get through this.

Angela said...

I just wanted to reach out and tell you how sorry I am. I've been reading your blog for a couple of years now, and I'm so taken aback. Wishing you much strength through this difficult time.

Karen said...

Thinking of you and the kids.

Tara Beaulieu said...

(((Jenn))) I am so glad you took the time to check in with us, though I don't know how you managed to do it, I don't think I would be as strong as you are.

Your kiddos are lucky to have you for a mama. And I think you're right, looking to the future now holds new and (possibly) exciting possibilities for you. I know you'll make excellent decisions for everyone involved and I continue to keep you in my prayers.

Mariuca said...

The ending of any love, especially one of 16 years is never easy.. I hope you will be strong during this trying time and take comfort in your kids. Big hugs for you, take care.... :)

Tammy said...

You will do it and after time it will all feel better.

Kristin said...

It had to feel earth-shattering. No doubt. My prayers are with you and your kids and will continue to be. I am glad that you are seeing shreds of light, and one day, it will be all light, I just know it.