Poker And Game Night

One of the best memories I have of my grandparents is playing poker with them.  Years ago, my parents moved from New York to South Carolina, leaving me, my sister, and my brother behind.  The only family we had up north were our grandparents, and every couple of weeks we would get together with them and play poker.  We hardly ever played five card stud.  My PopPop had other games he liked to play, and the only one I can remember is "deuces and jacks, the man with the ax, and a pair of seven takes all".

It has been many, many years since we have played, and it's been over ten years since my PopPop passed away.  I have tried playing poker online, but it is not the same.  These days, I prefer playing classic solitaire.  I have taught the kids how to play rummy, and that is fun to play when we have our family game nights, though we haven't done that in a really long time.  I think our last family game night was New Year's Eve last year.  The kids had gotten a dice game for Christmas, so we sat and played that for a couple of hours.  Eventually, I gave up and went to play solitaire online, leaving the game to the kids.

My kids love when we do game nights, not only because we play games together, but because I cook all kinds of "bad for us" food.  Each of the kids get to pick out all the food, and it is usually a combination of mozzarella sticks, taquitos, and pizza rolls.

I am going to have to plan a game night with the kids soon.

Little Girl Dresses

I have several nieces and nephews, but I only get to see two of them on a regular basis.  My nephew and I have a weird relationship.  I am convinced that he hates me.  My two year old niece Lylah, on the other hand, is my heart.  She loves her Aunt Jenn, and it's all I can do not to squeeze her until she pops every time I see her.

My sister always has her wearing the cutest little dresses.  I remember when my girls were little and I bought them the cutest childrens clothing.  I loved putting them in dresses.  Kasi is fifteen now, and refuses to wear skirts or dresses.  Brandi will still wear dresses, as long as she picks them out herself.  She is really into designer childrens clothing, and has a fashion sense all her own. I apparently do not have the same taste as her, because she never really likes what I pick out for her.

I wish my girls were still young enough to wear cute little dresses like the ones I found at Babe & Tess. Click on the link and check out the little mustard colored sundress.  Isn't it adorable?  My girls are too big for it, but my niece would look beyond adorable wearing it.  I found the cutest little bow headband at Pin Pretty that would match the dress perfectly.  Lylah always has a hair bow in her hair to match her outfits.  It's just another thing that makes her adorable.

I hope one day my kids will give me granddaughters.  I can't wait to start buying cute little dresses again.  Of course, if I ever have grandsons, they will be looking stylish too.

I Have A New Niece!

Yesterday morning I got a phone call from my mom saying that my sister-in-law was in labor.  She wasn't due until the end of December, but I guess the baby didn't want her birthday too close to Christmas.  I headed to my mom's house and rode with her the 90 minutes or so it takes to get to my brother's house.  On the way we got the phone call that the baby was born, and both mom and baby were doing great.  I love babies, and was thrilled when I got to hold my beautiful new niece for the first time.

This is their sixth child, so they are both pros when it comes to child care.  However, I am sure there are moments when they both wish they had an extra set of hands.  Carrying around a new infant while chasing after five other small kids is not going to be easy, so I was thinking that they might need some things to help make life a little easier.  I don't know if she has ever used a baby carrier wrap before, but these things look pretty awesome.  My sister-in-law would be able to keep the new baby close while still being able to use both hands.  Of course, I am sure she would do a little research first to find the best baby carriers available.  I know I would. I would read all the reviews I could find before making a decision. 

It still amazes me how much information is readily available on the internet.  I don't know how we ever made informed decisions before googling things. 

Mixbook Christmas Card Review

As most of you know (I say that a lot, don't I?) I have been stressing about money, especially since Christmas is only a little over a month away.  I was thrilled when I was asked to review Mixbook's Christmas Cards.  Just in case you don't know, Mixbook is:

"a leading photo products company that helps people create custom photo books, cards, and calendars. Whether starting from scratch, or using one of our thousands of professionally designed templates, every Mixbook product is 100% customizable. With Mixbook, you can truly Make It Yours™".

The process of making my card was simple enough.  I just picked the design I liked and uploaded the pictures I wanted to use.  It seriously only took me about ten minutes to finish my card, and I think it came out great.  I have to say, though, that with the variety of cards they offer, I had a hard time deciding on the perfect card for my family.  I am more into the whimsical than the traditional, but trust me when I say they offer something for everyone.  You can even start from scratch and make a card that is completely your own.

If you are looking for an affordable place to order your Christmas cards, check out Mixbook.  You can find them on twitter and facebook, too.  I love mine, and if you want me to mail one to you, email me your address.  Or message me on Facebook.

I received one or more of the products mentioned above for free using Tomoson.com. Regardless, I only recommend products or services I use personally and believe will be good for my readers.

Getting Older

I am not afraid of getting older.  In fact, I am looking forward to turning 40 in February.  Weird, right?  Most women I know dread turning 40, but for me, I see it as a new beginning.  I will be getting divorced soon after my birthday, and I am excited about starting a new life as a single woman.  Sure, I'm kind of dating now, but nothing serious.  My kids have never met the guy I am seeing, and I want to keep it that way for now.  If, and that's a big if, we ever do get serious, then I will let the kids meet him.  But for now, he is all mine, and I am enjoying ever second of it.

When I do get older, hopefully I won't be alone.  I hope to someday, maybe, get married again.  I would hate to think that there isn't someone out there I am meant to be with.  I do want to grow old with someone, and be able to look into senior living communities with a husband someday.  I want to have someone by my side when I play with my grandkids.  I want to have someone who will be by my side when I am wearing adult diapers and drooling on myself.

For now, though, I am going to play.  It's fun.

I Worry Sometimes

 Now that I am a single mom, I think about a lot of things that I never had to think about before.  Like what would happen to my kids if I die.  I know they would go to my ex, because he is their father, but I want to be able to leave them something.  Right now, I don't have any type of life insurance.  I know, I know.  I really need to check out a term life insurance calculator and see what my options are.  I know I can't afford to pay too much each month, but I am sure there are policies I can afford.

I also think about what would happen if I get hurt or sick.  Who would take care of me and pay my bills?  I used to be able to depend on my ex for that, but now I only have myself.  I'm sure my mom and dad would do what they could to help me, but I want to be able to do things on my own.  I've kind of become obsessed with that since my husband left.  I don't think anyone thought I would be able to live on my own with my kids without constant help, but I am.  Sure, I have needed a little help now and then, but I am basically doing it on my own, and that, my friends, is an awesome feeling.

Easy Money From Title Loans Miami

No matter how hard I try, I can never sleep in on the weekends.  My body is so used to getting up at 5:15am every day, no matter how late I stay up on Friday or Saturday nights, I am still up really early the following day.  I was excited about the extra hour of sleep we got last night, but I was still up at 6am this morning.

It's nice being up before the kids and having some time to myself, but this morning I found myself stressing about money.  No matter how much I work, there never seems to be enough money to do all the things I would love to do with the kids.  I can't even think about Christmas without having a little panic attack.  I have been thinking a lot about how I am going to find the money to get the kids gifts, and someone recommended Title Loans Miami  .  While I don't live in Miami Florida, I know there are title loan places close to where I live.  Getting a title loan is a good option for people who can not qualify for conventional loans, or when an emergency arises and you need money right away.

I still have over a month to find some extra money, so I am not going to panic yet.  At least not completely panic.  I wouldn't trade the life I have right now for anything.  I am happy, and my bills get paid every month.  I am taking care of my kids and being the mom I have always been, which just so happens to mean I am still awesome.  I am sure my kids will be happy Christmas morning no matter how much, or little, is under the tree.  They know that Christmas is about more then the gifts you get.  It's about God and being with family.  And I have been blessed with a wonderful family who loves us. 

Taking Care Of My Mom

I went trick or treating with my mom again this year.  I took my kids, too, of course.  They got lots of goodies which I raided.  I love that my daughter doesn't like Reese's, because they happen to be my favorite.  I love anything chocolate and peanut butter.

My mom and I were talking about a bunch of things while we were walking, and one of those things was what would happen to her if she ever got to the point where she couldn't take care of herself.  She said one of my sister's told here that she would never put her in a nursing home, and to be honest, I agree.  I would take her in to live with me before that happened.  I would need help, of course, but thanks to services that offer elder care, I know I wouldn't be on my own. I am sure no matter what my sisters and I decide, when the time comes, my mother will be well taken care of. 

I hope someday my kids feel the same way about me and I don't end up in a home somewhere, forgotten.  I don't think that would happen, but you never know.

Me + 3 KIds = Too Much Laundry!

I am trying to figure out how four people can make so much laundry!  I spend most of my life doing one or more of the following things: washing clothes, drying clothes, folding clothes, hanging clothes up, and putting clothes away.  It's a never ending cycle.  I know part of it is my fault, because I don't believe in wearing clothes or using towels more than once.  You don't have to yell at me.  I know that jeans and towels can be used more than once before being washed, but it's one of my "things".  When I put something on, I want it to be fresh.  When I dry my body, I don't want to think about the last body part I dried the time before. 

I probably wouldn't spend so much time doing laundry if I had a newer washer and dryer.  My washer is pretty standard, and can do a super sized load, but my dryer is a piece of garbage.  I have to run it twice to dry one load of laundry, which in turn hikes up my power bill.  I'm thinking that when February comes around and I have some money I should invest in a new washer and dryer.  My mom has the front loaders, and she loves them.  I may not get that fancy, but I have to do something.

Disney

I grew up in New York.  I don't remember us ever doing without anything, but I do know we weren't rich by any means. There were five of us kids, and while we may have worn hand me downs, they were always clean and in good condition.  One of the only things that really sticks in my mind that we never did was take a trip to Disney.

I remember every December the talk would start.  The kids that were doing Disney over Christmas vacation would start talking about all the things they would do while they walked the Magic Kingdom.  It made those of us not going a little jealous, but that's life.  I did finally end up going when I was in my early twenties, and I think I enjoyed it more then than I ever would have as a kid.  Sure, back then it would have been magical and fun, but as an adult, I was able to appreciate the beauty of it, if that makes any kind of sense.  My favorite was the haunted house, though I don't remember the "real" name.  I was blown away by the reality of the ghosts.  It was awesome.

I hope one day I can take my kids to Disney.  I wouldn't have to stay at a Disney hotel Orlando because I actually have family close to Disney that I could stay with. My kids are old enough now, I think, to enjoy it more.  Now to just find the money to get there.

Another Baby To Love

This coming December, I am going to be an aunt for the fifteenth time.  This niece will join my nine nephews and five other nieces in my heart.  I love all of them, and wish more of them lived closer.  I get to see one niece and nephew all the time, but the rest live pretty far away, and I don't get to see them as often as I would like.

When we all do get together, I am reminded why I love that my kids are older, especially when the little ones start getting cranky.  Don't get me wrong, my kids can get cranky.  The difference is, they are old enough where I can tell them to stop, and they know they better listen or they will be in serious trouble.  Gone are my days of dealing with cranky kids who can't communicate what is bothering them.  I don't have to worry about things like nib and well visits to the doctor.  I don't have to go online with questions that Dr Ginni could answer.   I can sleep in on the weekends, because my kids are old enough to get up on their own.

I may not miss my baby days, but I love babies.  I love the way they smell, and the way they cuddle up to you.  I can't wait until I can hold and cuddle my newest little niece in December.

Did You Get Mother's Day Flowers?

 Yesterday was Mother's Day, as I am sure you all know.  I was showered with lots of home made cards from my girls, with a hug thrown in from Ryan.  I have to say, I love the hand made stuff so much more than anything they could have bought me at the store.  That said, I certainly did enjoy my cookie cake that the girls decorated for me, thanks to my mom.

I know there are moms out there who received Mother's Day Flower Delivery, and I hope someday when my kids are grown and on their own that they might remember me on Mother's Day with some flowers.  I also hope that they look up ProFlowers coupon codes online before making a purchase.  I forget sometimes that you can find all kinds of coupons, not just ProFlowers coupons, online and save money.  

I spent my Mother's Day with my mom and my kids.  My mom took all of us to the zoo, and you all know how much I love going there.  I took lots of pictures, this one being my favorite:

Yes, that is me and my babies (who aren't babies anymore) posing on and around an elephant statue.  This is my family now, and I couldn't love them more.

Buying Boat Ladders

The kids and I went to my dad's house today to help celebrate his birthday.  There were tons of kids there, and lots of fishing and other games. Dad even gave out a couple of boat rides.  I went out with my kids and Carson (my nephew) on the first run, and for some reason, when we got back to the dock, I felt nauseous.  I am sure it had nothing to do with the drinks I had last night and everything to do with the choppy water.  The kids love going on the boat.  Brandi and Carson were having a blast, as you can see:

Look at those smiles!  My dad has a pontoon, which allows a bunch of us to ride at one time.  I am not sure what type of boat ladders it has, if it even has any.  I know some boat ladders look like ladders, while others look like actual steps.  I guess it all depends on the boat and the owner.

We also ate pizza and cake, which I allowed myself to enjoy.  I have really been watching what I eat, but gave myself a pass for today.  Maybe that has something to do with the way I feel right now, too.

Hey! How Have You Been?

Me?  Oh, I've been great. 

Yesterday marked three weeks since my husband left, and I am feeling good about the decisions I have been making for myself.  I am still a little worried about how Brandi is handling things, but I also have faith that in time, she will be okay. 

I have been busy, which is a nice change for me.  I have been doing a lot of driving, and am thinking about taking my driving test in the next few weeks.  I'm not going to say anything before, that way if I fail I won't feel too stupid.  Today, while driving, I came upon my first license checkpoint.  The policeman was so nice.  I was impressed that I didn't get all nervous...I was actually laughing with the policeman.  I am seriously amazed at my confidence these days.

I'm still swimming most mornings, and I love it.  It's not only relaxing...it is also toning me up a bit.  This morning we did almost 2 hours.  Then we went and had lunch at one of those places where the chef cooks the food right at the table.  I've never been to a restaurant like that before.  In fact, I have been doing a lot of things I have never done before.  It's nice to have friends who can afford to treat me nicely. 

For the past 16 years, I have been nothing more than a wife and mother.  For those 16 years, I didn't think I needed anything more.  I am finding out these days that I also need to be a woman.  My kids will always be the most important people in my life, but it's so nice to have adult conversations and hang out with people who expect nothing of me.  I love doing what I want, and not having to answer to anyone.  I was telling someone the other day that I almost feel like a teenager again, only this time, I am enjoying myself.  When I was an actual teenager, I was miserable.  These days, I am happy.  Seriously happy.  Sure, I have my moments where things seem completely overwhelming, but I am living my life one day at a time, and that seems to help.

I need to start packing up my house, but I can't.  I feel like if I start, it makes all of this real.  I don't want to leave this house...it's my home.  Sure, it has some memories in it, but they are happy memories.  The kids are looking forward to moving, because they can't deal with the memories.  I am looking forward to living with my mom, but I wish I could afford my own place right now.  I am craving independence.  I know, it seems like I am talking in circles, and that is how I feel most days...like focusing on one thought is just too much.  Keeping busy helps with that.  Writing here helps a bit, but I find it hard to sit here at the computer.  I need to be moving; doing something. 

I had an interview last week, but I don't think anything will come of it.  I need something that pays more than minimum wage, and until I have a car of my own, I don't really have reliable transportation.  I feel like I am trying to do too much too fast, and I need to be taking baby steps.  I need to let the kids finish this school year, get settled at my moms...but in the meantime, get a car and a job.  I want to be working as soon as possible. 

See...this post is exactly how my brain has been working lately.  A jumbled up mess of confusion. 

We Went To The Circus

I seriously love the circus.  I know, you think it's because of the elephants, don't you?  Okay, maybe that's part of it.  I mean, I did take about one hundred pictures of just the elephants.

We went last year, and I was happy that the show was completely different this year.  There were things they didn't do this year that I would have loved to see, and there were new things this year that were pretty cool.  My favorite (after the elephants, of course) was when these two guys got into these metal rings that spun around.  They were doing flips and jumping rope, not only on the inside, but on the outside, too.  Check it out:

You can't really tell in the picture how high this guy was off the ground, but he was pretty high.

I can't wait to go again next year.

Thank You All

I can not express how much your kinds words about Junior's dad's passing mean to us.  It's been a rough week, but I think it's getting easier for him every day.  We are going to go to therapy every week (instead of every other week) for a little while, and hopefully that will help Junior work through some of his anger and pain.  Thankfully, his work has been extremely supportive, allowing him to take this entire week off.  He'll go back to work on Monday. 

I think one of he hardest things for him was that there was no funeral or memorial of any kind.  His brother and sister arranged for him to be cremated, and they are going to scatter his ashes at his favorite fishing hole.  We didn't even expect there to be an obituary in the paper, but yesterday there was a very small one.  I have been trying to keep Junior busy, so we went out to lunch, and I bought a newspaper, not expecting to find anything.  Of course, seeing it in black and white was hard for him, but it also confirmed it for him.  He was just saying yesterday morning how he didn't feel like it was real because he didn't see anything for himself.  Now that he has, I think it will be easier for him to move on.  Make sense?

Please continue to keep him in your prayers.  I know he will be just fine, in time.  He doesn't want to grieve for a man who was nothing but mean to him, but it's human nature.  He was still his dad. 

My FIL Passed Away

I have written and erased, rewritten and erased this post quite a few times this morning.  The words just don't want to come out right, and everything I try to write just sounds wrong.  If you have been a reader for a while, you know that my husband did not have the best relationship with his dad, and about two and a half years ago, we walked away and cut contact with him.  In fact, my husband decided to cut ties with his entire family. 

This did not mean that he stopped caring about these people.  They are his family.  It just meant he got to a point in his life where he needed to put himself around positive influences, not negative ones.  The news of his father's passing was not easy for him to hear.  No matter what happened in the past, this man was his father.  Now, there is no chance of ever reconciling.  He will never hear his dad tell him he loves him.  He will never hear his dad tell him he is proud of the man he has become.  And this breaks my heart. 

We will continue to go to therapy, and hopefully one day my sweet husband can move past this.  For now, we will take things day by day, and hopefully find a way for him to heal.

Seriously, When Did This Happen?

 

Brandi took this picture on Thanksgiving.  

It's me, Ryan and Kasi. 

My new header is a picture all of us.

I was wondering...why is Brandi the only one shorter than me?

When the heck did that happen?

No Comments About My Sausage Toes!

I am seriously enjoying my Summer, and for the first time, I am not looking forward to it ending.  We have been spending so much time with my mom, and I love it.  We swim and eat together at least four time a week, some weeks even more.  I am going to miss that once school starts back next week.  I am a creature of habit, and one of my biggest things is that we do not stay out late on school nights.  Homework and bedtimes are very important to me, because I want my kids to do the best they can in school, and those two things help tremendously.  But for now, I am going to enjoy this last week of freedom.  I am going to swim.  And eat.  And enjoy the time I spend with my mom.

Oh, and I am going to continue rocking the black toenail polish!

All Together

I want to tell you about this site I just heard about called BigMarker.com.   This is a site where you can video conference with people all around the world, and share your passion for whatever it is you have a passion for. 

Or, you can video chat with your family and friends.  I don't have the need to conduct a conference, but I would love it if my sister in New York and my sister in New Jersey could video chat with not just me, my mom, and my sister separately, but all together.  (This is one of the things that skype can't do)  I can only imagine how fun it would be to have the five of us trying to talk above each other.  Using this website is completely free, with no trial period or monthly fees.

Now I just need to get a webcam, and I'll be good to go.