My Broken Heart

I just finished putting Brandi to bed. The poor thing cried and cried because she wants Cake back. I can't find words to describe how I am feeling right now, so I will just tell you the conversation we had. I told Brandi that Cake was in Heaven. It took me by complete surprise when she asked what Heaven was. I assumed she new. I was wrong and it hurts me to realize that she couldn't comprehend any of it. I tried to explain how your spirit goes to Heaven, and she wanted to know what happens if you fall off a cloud. She wanted to know what part of Cake went to Heaven, her fur, her skeleton, her blood. I was at a total loss. She prays every night, I just never questioned if she understood who she was praying to. I grew up in church, and I guess I never realized what my kids are missing by not going. Wait, I know what they are missing, I just didn't grasp how important it is. I don't think I'm saying very well exactly what it is that I am trying to share. I guess it was kind of like an "A-HA" moment, where the light goes off and you see something clearly. Well, I see very clearly the impact God had on me and I want that for my children too. NOw, if I can just convince Junior to take us to church. ( I think you, Terra, will understand most what I am trying to say. ) Funny how it took a cat to make me see the way my life is, and how much I need to change it. Especially for my kids. I need some clarity, I guess is what I want to say. I need to know how to help Brandi understand and how to help her get past this hurt. I need to heal my own broken heart, too.