That's right, elephants. I went to the zoo today with my mom, sisters, niece and nephews, and it was great. I laughed. A lot. I teared up once, thinking how I would never do that again with Bob and the kids again. But I didn't cry. In fact, I haven't cried at all today.
I have made so many plans, but I can't blog about it. I can't share things here, but I have been writing. I've been writing a lot, actually. My sister gave me a journal for Christmas, and at the time, I didn't see the point of it because I blog. I write everything here. But since Monday, I have filled about 15 pages...maybe more. I'm not sure and I'm too lazy to get up and check. Anyway, I find it extremely therapeutic to write down all that I am feeling. I write when Brandi is upset. I write after I talk to Bob. I write when my head is spinning out of control when I think about all the things I need to do in the next few weeks, months, maybe even years. I write about my hopes for my future and the things I am afraid of. Mostly, though, I write about hope. I have so much hope right now. I know Bob is safe, and on his way to being happy. That makes me happy. I may not be in love with him anymore, but I do love him enough to want the best for him.
I know I need to redo the header up there. I also have to change up my food blog...I am no longer feeding a family of five. I am back to dropping ecards...well, I did it yesterday and today. Not sure I'll get to it tomorrow. My sister is visiting from NY this week (boy, does she have great timing, right!) and I want to spent time with her before she goes back this weekend.
I am still having a hard time controlling my newly acquired ADD...I can not focus on anything for more than a few minutes. This constant need to stay busy has lead to several walks around my neighborhood and an extremely clean house. The walking has led to some serious weight loss...about 10 pounds so far this week, and my house can pass a white glove test. That's a good thing, right?
5 comments:
Glad you are hanging in there and dealing with this in healthy ways like walking. Be careful with the concentration, it could be a sign of depression. I had issues with concentration and discovered that I was suffering from Post Partum Depression. Stay strong, and good luck.
Need a header?
I'm so glad you have hope. Have a wonderful visit with you sister. Going to the zoo sounds like it was very good for you. It's good that the elephants were there for you to visit with.
You BET it is!!! Keep it up sweetie...It is going to be Alright!!!
YOU HAVE A SERIOUSLY HAPPY WEEKEND!!!
hughugs
Sounds like you are going through a tough time, but at least you are on the right track for trying to deal with things. Love the elephant pic too.
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