So, I Had A Baby

I can not believe it has been two weeks since Harper made her grand entrance into this world.  My c-section went well, and Harper was 18 1/2 inches long and weighed 7 pounds, 10 ounces. (Which was exactly what Kasi weighed when  she was born) I was surprised that she was little, since I was so big, but I guess it was all that extra fluid.

I promised Brandi that she could be the first to hold Harper, so when I made it out of recovery and into my room, I was anxious for them to bring the baby to me. I wanted the kids to meet her. I got to kiss her sweet face before they took her out of the OR, but I wanted to hold her too. I had a room full of family and friends, and was terrified when the nurse came in to tell me that my baby was in the NICU. She didn't have details, and said the doctors were working on her, and that when the baby was stable someone would come talk to me. Now, I haven't heard from Harper's daddy since the end of February. so I was thankful for all the support I had from my family and friends at that moment. I had the nurses give my mom the other bracelet for the baby, so I think she went to the NICU to find out what was going on. I say I think because I don't really remember. I just know that she explained to me later on the Harper had inhaled some fluid, and since she had a bowel movement inside me, the fluid could cause an infection in her lungs. She was having a hard time keeping her oxygen levels up, so she had to be on oxygen. They finally allowed everyone to go back and see her, one at a time, with my mom. I couldn't go, though, because of the spinal. It killed me that everyone got to see my baby before me, but I was glad that she was, and is, loved so much!

I was finally allowed to go see her around 9 that night, and when I saw my sweet baby with the oxygen and iv, I kinda lost it. She looked so pitiful! Everyone who had been back to see her up until then had only been allowed to touch her, so I assumed that I would only get to touch her as well.  When the nurse came over and asked if I wanted to hold her, I was thrilled. There is nothing like that first moment when you get to hold your baby. I held her for a long time. In fact, I didn't want to let her go! But, she needed to get back on her oxygen, so I reluctantly said goodnight and was wheeled back to my room.

As soon as I was allowed that next day, I walked to the NICU with my mom. They let me hold her again, and I am pretty sure I sat there in that rocking chair for several hours, as family and friends took turns coming in to sit with me. I wouldn't let anyone else hold her, because I promised Brandi she would be the first, and they wouldn't let her in the NICU. After going almost 24 hours without eating, my little love bug was happy to eat from a bottle. (for those who don't remember, I can not breastfeed due to my breast reduction, which kills me because I did that for my other 3 and would have loved to do the same for Harper) The nurse let me feed her the next bottle, and I enjoyed every second of that. I knew once she was able to come to my room, everyone else would want to feed her, which is exactly what happened.

I think it was late Saturday evening when they let the baby spend a few hours in my room with me.  She needed frequent trips to the NICU for her antibiotics and blood work, but she was doing well off the oxygen, so they promised she could spend most of the day with me in my room on Sunday. I was able to keep my promise and let Brandi be the first to hold her, and I am not sure when this picture was taken, but it is my favorite. Brandi has climbed into bed with me as I was feeding Harper.

Ryan, Kasi, and Brandi are great with the baby, and they love her to pieces.  I have had a hard recovery, but I'll save that story for another day. It took Harper 2 weeks to get back up to her birth weight, and we have to go back to the pediatrician on Thursday, because they don't think she is gaining weight fast enough. I don't see how she sin't, because she eats like a little piggie!

I was seriously worried that I would not be accepting of Harper, because as you all know, she was one big surprise. I never planned on having another child.  I never dreamed that I would have to do it alone. Being a single mom of three is hard, and adding a newborn seemed overwhelming. I don't know what was wrong with me. When they finally put that baby in my arms, I knew that she was meant to be there. I am sure God has big plans for this little lady, and I am so thankful that I get to be her mommy!

I haven't been home yet. I left the hospital and come to stay at my mom's house for a few days while I recovered from my c-section.  That was 2 weeks ago, and I am still here.  It has been wonderful having someone help with the baby, and take care of me. I may be 41, but I am enjoying all this time with my mom, and I know she is loving the time she gets to spend with Harper. I plan on going home tomorrow, since the doctor cleared me to drive today. I will be seeing a lot of my mom though, not only because she is still caring for my incision (which refuses to heal...damn diabetes!) but also because I have a feeling she is going to miss having the baby around 24 hours a day.