2011 - A Year Of Self Discovery

2011 didn't start out so well for my little family.  I am sure you all remember that day last February when I wrote a simple post letting you all know that my husband decided to leave me.  I remember that day.  I remember feeling so many things...the most prominent feeling being hopelessness. 

I can honestly say that I am going to start 2012 full of hope.  I learned so much about myself this past year, and I love who I have become.  I always used to say that I loved myself, but looking back, I don't think that was true.  I always thought I was happy, but I don't think that was true, either. 

Today, on this last day of a hard year, I can honestly say that I do love myself, and I have never been happier.  It took the ending of my marriage for me to realize that although my life before was important, I wasn't really living. 

In the past ten months, I have learned

• how much fun it is to live. 
• that I am beautiful, inside and out.  
• that being a single mom is hard work, but worth every second.  
• that I love working. 
• that I can stand on my own two feet.
• that it is okay to ask for help when I need it.
• that flirting is fun!
• that there are men out there who find me attractive.
• that I don't have to depend on other people for my happiness.
• that I can forgive...even when it hurts me to do so.
• that I can be friends with my ex, which is important to me for the sake of my kids.
• that driving isn't scary!

So, those are a few things I have learned, and I am sure there are many, many more.  I know I haven't been blogging much about my personal life.  I know there are readers (or a better word might be stalkers) who read this blog simply to know what is going on with me because they are insecure in there own lives and have nothing better to do than wish they were like me.  I know I am amazing, and I don't need a man to make me feel this way.  I am amazing because of the things I have done this past year for myself.  For my kids.  For my little family.  My kids will always be the most important part of my world, but I have learned that they are not the only part of my world. 

I haven't mentioned this little tidbit before, but for the past six months or so I have been seeing someone.  It's not a relationship, because neither one of us want that.  I wanted someone who would be okay with hanging out only when my kids are with their dad, and I found him.  My kids have never met him, though they do know I see someone.  I am a big believer in keeping my personal life away from my kids.  When they are with me, they are my priority.  That said, have recently discovered that in order for me to be the great mom that I am, I need time to myself.  I am a woman after all. 

I know this post comes off as me tooting my own horn, but I'm okay with that.  I spent too many years being unhappy with myself, and now that I am finally the woman I think I was always supposed to be, I am proud of myself.

And that is why 2012 is going to be awesome!