Still Friends

Did you know that every state has there own set of laws when it comes to getting divorced?  This is one of the things I have learned in the past year.  There have been many times when I have wished that my ex and I lived in another state where they do not have the one year separation law.   Here in South Carolina, a couple must be separated for a year before filing for divorce.  Unless, of course, you can prove adultery.  You all know that my ex moved in with his current girlfriend the day he left me.  According to the three lawyers I spoke with last year, that act alone would have been grounds to sue him for adultery.  Of course, they also advised me that PROVING he was cheating was something else entirely.  I am not sure about Arizona Divorce Laws, but here, I would have had to hire a private investigator to get pictures of him going to and leaving her house.  As long as he was in there long enough for something to have happened between them (if you get my drift) I would have had a case. 

However, I was also advised that in most adultery cases, the spouse who is cheating tends to play dirty, which can make getting my divorce expensive.  Since my ex and I were not getting along at the time, I knew he would try to lessen my child support, or even try to take my kids away from me, which he has threatened me with in the past. So, waiting for our year to be up was my best option, and honestly, I don't regret it, because right now, my ex and I are friends.  It's funny, really.  I talk to him several times a day, and most of the time it has nothing to do with the kids.  I still find myself calling him when I have good news about things, and he does the same thing.

I am hoping that we can continue this relationship, as friends, at least until the kids are all grown.  I have seen, and lived through, what it's like when parents split up and hate each other.  I don't want that for my kids.  Or for me.