For the first time the other day, I referred to myself as just that, a single mom.
It felt weird on my lips.
Just a couple of weeks ago, we were a happy family. Or at least that is what we led everyone to believe. Now, I am here, alone with the kids, trying to find a new normal for us. The older two are doing good, but Brandi still has her moments. Lots of them, actually. Bob and I are both trying to be a supportive as possible, I just think it is going to take her some time to get used to the way things are going to be from now on.
I keep having people ask me if there is a chance of us getting back together. When I tell them no, I usually get the same reaction...disbelief. I wish they would believe me. I know what is in my heart, and while I do still love my husband, it's not enough. I am no longer in love with him, and I know he would say the same about me. And that's okay.
In the past two weeks, I have changed. I am so much more confidant. It's like I found all this self esteem I have had buried deep inside. I am not sitting here, worried about my future. I am doing things to make my future better for me and my kids. I went yesterday and got my permit, and I can not wait to get my license and a car. I am finding that I enjoy driving, and I am good at it. My friend let me drive her around all day yesterday. I have been applying for jobs...I just hate this having to wait for phone calls. I really want to have my own money coming in so that I don't have to depend on Bob so much.
I know I have tons of support from all of you, but please understand that I do not want to talk about what actually led up to Bob leaving. If you really want all the juicy details (though you will probably be disappointed) email or message me. I am going to try really hard to not let this turn into a "the road to divorce" blog....it is still going to be about my babies, who are no longer babies.
For tonight, though, I am shipping the kids to their dad's so I can go out and have some fun....and I am really looking forward to it. I deserve a little happiness.
11 comments:
I am so proud of you! Look at you out and driving!! that is a huge accomplishment and I think that your attitude is great. I'm not going to lie to you, I'm a little curious about the whole thing but I completely respect you not wanting to turn this in to that kind of blog. So go out tonight and have fun and when you are ready, take a road trip to Wake Forest and I'll treat you to lunch!!
Go kick your heels up sweetie! Yes you do deserve it!
No details necessary for me... Been there, done that. Just want to hear how Wonderful you are and know I'm here for you!!
Love you!
Hughugs
PS- can't wait to see the new header....;0)
I don't think it is anybody's business (well, I know), but you don't need to explain it on your blog. You have found a whole new person inside. You are now a single mom, you have 3 kids, and you have a whole new world out there !! I am so proud of the steps you have taken. Wow, you are driving...look at all of this self-esteem...YOU GO GIRL !! :) Have tons of fun tonight. If I lived in your city, I would be right there with you. I would buy your dinner... a drink.. or just a 7-up !! :) I am sure someone would help your with your header. I would be willing to give it a try, I am sure Donna would help you, you don't need help from the past !! :) You have moved forward !! :)
Also.. yeah for the kids dad for giving you a night out !! :) You can girl talk to adults tonight !! :) I know you love your kids and they will always come first !! :) *HUGS*
You amaze me. I keep thinking about how I'd react, and I figure I'd be really angry and probably be a basket case for a good long time. Then again, we don't know how we'll handle any situation until we're in it, do we?
And, wow - you're driving!! So now you're wondering why you didn't do it sooner?
Sound like you are well on your way to a new happiness.
Like you and other I also have been there, done that. Falling out of love seemed hard at first, but it's really just the beginning of a wonderful new life where you can make all/most of the decisions.
Go For It and Have Fun!
PLU
I think you're gonna be okay. It is important to believe in yourself and it sounds like you do :)
divorce really sucks especially if there are kids involved.let's hope the children do not become tools in the war between the ex's.
You are inspiring, you know this, right? Yes, you do deserve fun, lots of it!! You go on with your bad self, hehe!!
divorce affects every kid..i'm a product
Post a Comment